Sixty-Five and Still Alive

I have been 65 years old for 5 days now.  Do I feel any different?  I feel lucky that I am healthy, not in pain, usually, don't yet have to take any cholesterol, blood pressure or heart medicine and have been able to stop my bone medicine.  Feel happy and fortunate to have a good husband and healthy, happy children(3) and happy grandchildren (6), dismayed that great-grandchildren triplets are on the way. Extremely happy to have many friends.  Crossing my fingers that my Mom will be in good shape for a bit longer.  Encouraged that the Spring is warming up.  Excited about being able to use ALL Senior Discounts that are being given. Glad I can still walk easily, bend over to touch my toes, garden.  Content with my retirement so far, looking forward to my husband's job-leaving coming up in less than 2 years.  Anticipating more travel adventures when we can both get away on impulse.

Right after I turned 64, last April, we went to Greece, my fourth visit.  So I started my 65th year with a wonderful two weeks exploring Athens a little more than before; experiencing a Greek Easter, with the spit-roasted lamb and lemon roasted potatoes, the red Easter eggs, the big family dinner; fast driving with cousins Lambrose and Mary; a long car trip to eat fancy ice cream bordering a beautiful lake; bakery buys on the way to see distance relatives; Greek family drama; staying in a Greek hotel rather than in the family house; 2 weeks of major foreign-ness.   In June we went to Orlando, the first time I'd set foot in Florida, and we went to Epcot and I got epic blisters on my feet and we went to Universal Studios, and I got to see Florida thunderstorms.  Awesome!

This year, we have no plans for travel until September--the year is going to start more quietly.  We went to the Tulip Festival up near LaConner this past weekend and the sun shined through the black clouds and the tulips were in bloom.  A quiet, but pretty, beginning.  

35 was a milestone for me, since it was one of the actuarial cutoff points--18 to 35.  But 65 isn't bothering me like 35 did.  That's the thing about getting to this point.  It's more of a "feeling lucky I made it" thing, more than a "Yikes, I'm getting older" reaction.  The obits show more and more people my age and younger passing away.  Getting this far in good health is a Good Thing.  And now that I have been able to reconnect with a bunch of high school alumni I know a whole bunch of people the same age as me--that's really helpful.  My friends have mostly been younger than me, and though I still love to hang out with people who can tell me who Miley Cyrus and Zach Efron are, it's good to be around peers, if only to commiserate about what it's like to be 65 and who know that Paul McCartney used to be a Beatle.  And they probably remember Patti Page, too.

Driving home from getting a haircut yesterday I was thinking about "marker" birthdays and where I was and what was happening.  At 35, 1979, my second husband and I were living in Poulsbo, my oldest daughter was 16, my middle daughter was 13 and my son was 2.  My husband had either not started cheating yet or I was just ignorant of it, so things were pretty good. We were starting our involvement with Bremerton Community Theater, middle daughter was living with her Dad, oldest daughter was active with the North Kitsap high school band and seemed happy.  My husband was working at Kingston Lumber, I wasn't working and we were struggling financially, but still having a good time.

At 45, 1989, my husband had been unfaithful more times than I probably knew and we were on the verge of separation. I traveled in an airplane for the first time during my 45th year, to visit my newest(third) grandchild, Alecia, in San Diego.  I was working as a manager at Northstar Sportswear in Kingston, my oldest daughter had had her two boys by this time, my second daughter had graduated by the skin of her teeth from East High School and left Washington, with a friend and her mother, and settled in Arizona.  My son was 12, a fun and interesting kid.  It wasn't a happy time but I was trying to make the best of it.  I think it was during this year that I tried Buddhism, looking for answers I suppose.  

At 55, 1999, I had met and moved in with my (to-be) third husband.  By 55 we had been together for 6 years,  my oldest daughter had left her husband and moved to Norfolk, VA with her second husband; my second daughter had left Phoenix for San Diego and was a single parent; my son had married his high school sweetheart and in 1999 they were probably in Denver, CO.  I had traveled to Greece and to England, to Hawaii; Ventura, CA many times; Salt Lake City; Jackson Hole, WY; Norfolk. I was working for Educational Service District #114, we were prosperous, nobody was cheating on anybody, I lived in a bigger house than I'd ever lived in, had a nice car, I was planting lots of flowers in my big yard, in a quiet neighborhood West of Silverdale; my Dad was still alive, my oldest brother was still alive, worries were few.

It's an interesting exercise to go back by decades and look at where you were.  The last 10 years have been some of my happiest and most contented.  They have probably been the quietest years, too, not much drama.  To some that could spell b-o-r-i-n-g, but I'll take boring.  Add a dash of travel into a quiet life and you have the right mix, in my book, a recipe for well-being.  Add new and old friends and you have delight.  Well-being and delight can support me through any tough times to come.

Happy 65th Birthday to all of you who might be already there or quickly approaching this age.  A pinch to grow in wisdom, tolerance, friendship.