It is Saturday. I haven't written in a couple of days, not because I haven't wanted to, but because I've forgotten. That's one of the problems I'm having right now--forgetting things. My husband keeps saying, "You have a lot on your mind" and he is so right. I especially have a lot on my mind today because yesterday I got a call from Northwoods that Mom's release date is May 12th, next Thursday! That's good news, but sends me into a flurry of activity and list making. There is so much to do before she sets foot in the door.
1. Get my brother to help me clean the house.
2. Buy large quantity items like applesauce and whey protein at Costco.
3. Grocery shop for Mom, keeping in mind what the nutritionist and the speech therapist said about what Mom can and should eat, instant mashed potatoes, gravy packets, instant breakfast, eggs, lots of butter, cream, oatmeal, cream of wheat, canned beans, string beans, beets, cream soups.
4. Bring a suitcase to Northwoods for Mom's clothes and flower vases and cards.
5. Call Comfort Keepers to get them started again.
6. Find out when the PT, SP, OT and home health nurse will be visiting each week.
7. Solve the problem of where we can hang the catheter bag on the side of the bed--a big safety pin was suggested by Cheryl Creelman.
8. Make sure there are sterile wipes that my brother can easily access for catheter emptying.
9. Get a clock/calendar device so my brother doesn't have to call me up at 10:00 pm to find out what day it is, like he did last night.
10. Reprogram Mom's automatic pill dispenser (my husband will do this for me).
11. Buy a bath bench from Amazon (best price) unless one appears at Goodwill. There actually was one at Goodwill on Thursday, but there wasn't a back on it and Mom needs to be able to lean back. Anyone have one in their basement?
12. I know there's probably more, but that's all I can think of at this point.
13. Unfortunately, that's all I could think of while trying to sleep last night and I finally had to get up and start making lists. I'll crash and burn later.
Today will be a fun day at Northwoods, because they are putting on a Mother's Day Tea. I went to Mom's house and invaded her hat collection, bringing home 6 of her cute hats 3 straw hats, a red beret, a black knit hat with black fur border, a felt derby with a leopard pattern band. I cleaned them of dust with compressed air (I don't think she's worn them in a long time) and they look as good as new. She will get to decide which one to wear to the tea. I also picked out a nice, colorful jacket for her to wear so that she feels dressed up. She asked me yesterday, at Dr. Yee's office, if she would need to put on stockings. I told her the dress code was casual nursing facility attire--red skid-proof stocks will be the footwear of the day. Apparently one of the aides or nurses is a gourmet baker and she will be providing the tea sweets. I will be wearing a hat, too, and will dress up a little more than I have been doing. I'll wear earrings and a bracelet or two. I hope Mom will be having one of her alert days.
Dr. Yee gave Mom a clean bill of health yesterday at her 8:00 a.m. appointment. He is a gastro doctor, the one who performed her two colonoscopies in the hospital. He cautioned her to keep drinking the metamucil and to eat as much as she could. Mom was tired, they'd waken her up, but she perked up when she saw the beautiful photos on the wall, taken by various relatives of Doctors Yee and Sharma. It seems to have become de rigueur at physicians offices to put original photos on the wall. Dr. Houck (heart) had photos he'd taken of mountains he'd climbed. At Drs Clinic there are original water colors on the walls, probably done by an employee. Are doctors and other medical personnel highly creative?
My dentist makes jewelry. My best friend, a therapist, paints and makes collage art and has exhibited it. She also sings and writes songs.
Thursday was Training Day for me and Stanley. We spent 3 hours at Northwoods learning how to bed transfer, aid stair climbing, aid standing up and sitting down, empty a catheter, toilet transfer, take walks with a wobbly Mom. The catheter training was the tricky part. My brother, even though he used to paint and sculpt and still puts together Harley Davidson motorcycle models, seems to have poor small motor skills. His hands shake, probably because of all the medication he has to take, and he was nervous, too. He had a hard time of it. He is also not familiar with medical devices or child rearing. Child rearing is an excellent background for care giving. Those of us who've done that have had to put pants and shirts on bodies hundreds, maybe thousands of times. We've cleaned poopy diapers, we've cleaned up countless messes, we might have dealt with bandages or had to help with shots. Even if we've never had to empty or change a catheter, we've got strong stomachs and aren't really nervous about stuff like this. It's just the stuff that has to be done. Period.
Are we ready for Mom to come home? Our emotions are ready. We know she will be happy there. My brother confided that she's told him countless times that she "wants to pass at home" and he wants to help her attain that wish. It won't be as easy at home, there won't be aids around the clock and my brother will probably continue to sleep on the couch in order to hear her when she calls out for him at night. He will be the one most responsible for her food intake and her catheter. He will have help from me and others who are coming, paid help or prescribed help. I will undoubtedly get calls from him on the days I'm not there or at night. He will panic sometimes. I will spend a good deal of time at Mom's, helping with the cooking, checking on Mom, checking on my brother, assessing. It's what I do right now and it will be worth it in the end.
I made a mother's day card for mom today with a picture of Mom on a couch and my other brother, Dan, and me beside her. She had fallen in our well the day before. The Bremerton Sun had taken the picture for the newspaper article they wrote about her. She had spent hours in the well, hanging onto the pipe, her back braced against the well walls, her feet in the water. The minister, who lived just a few blocks away was the one who found her there. The volunteer fire department pulled her out. She was 33 years old and beautiful in the photo and even though she was lying on the couch, she looked healthy and strong. I wrote to her in the card that even as she had inspired us then, with her bravery and élan, she has continued to inspire us now. She has been courageous, graceful and calm all through this ordeal, cooperative, even cheerful, and that's made our job all the easier. Even when she could not stand up on her own, she tried and didn't complain. Her reaction to this hard time will live with me always and hopefully, I'll be able to draw on those memories when I am in my 80s and things aren't going so well.
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