We had a really nice 4 days off last week because we (Mate and I) took Monday off, too. What a great time we had pretending to be retired! Even with 4 days I still didn't have enough time for the things I wanted to do, so I know I am ready for retirement. People keep asking me: "What are you going to do when you retire?!" That question tells me that they aren't ready or they would know! I used to feel that way, too, back when I was in my 50s. But not any more! My list of things I want to do is very long and includes getting out like Fossil Guy is doing, on his picture taking forays. We discovered on the 4th when we had Fossil Guy and Bookworm over for burgers and dogs, that FG and I have the same camera. He is taking much better pics than I am and I wonder if I'll ever catch up with him. He is a photo artist!
We had a lively conversation about retirement and buying new houses and so on. Condominiums, one level houses, city or country, taxes, enough money to live on, all those things people in their 60s and 70s must think about. I don't feel like I am of advanced age but I guess I am getting there. Retirement looks to me like a long wonderful vacation, not a slowing down time. It will be a time I can actually design my garden, rather than only trying to keep the weeds at bay. It will be a time I can make a really great card to send to a friend rather than one I can whip up in an hour. It will be a time of fussing over dinner rather than putting something quick on the table. And yes, I have to admit, I will even be able to keep my house cleaner, if it seems important to do so. I wonder about that one!
My mate has told me he wants to take lots of cruises when we are both retired. He won't retire until 3 years after me. He wants to get on a big boat, enjoy the fabulous meals, go to classes, to the gym, see the scenery, read, walk the decks, be away from the telephone and Real Life for 10 days. It's the only way he can avoid the chores that he can always hear calling. If he was at home 100% of the time he would never stop mending, weeding, fixing, adding, sanding, painting. He is a man of doing.
Bookworm said something on the 4th that has had my mind working overtime ever since. I had told her about the latest worrisome adventures of my Mom. On the day my brother locked the keys in the car at Safeway, Mom ran out in the street and flagged down a driver to take her to Silverdale with "extra keys". A stranger picked her up, took her to Silverdale, drove her around the Safeway parking lot where they couldn't locate my brother, and then drove her back home. In the meantime my brother came back home with the locksmith, looking for Mom to pay the bill, and she was gone! She showed up later with the keys, which hadn't actually been car keys at all. I told BW about this and she looked at me with one of her "I have to tell you something" looks and said,
"You know, your Mom has probably been doing these things all along and you just didn't know about them. Those are the kinds of things that I do."
This just has blown my mind (pardon the 70s expression, but it's the only way I can describe the affect it's had on me). I love the "gaps" as BW calls her midadventures, the wild things she is capable of have always intrigued me, but in my Mom they scare the crap out of me! And sometimes they drive my up a wall. I never connected the "gaps" that BW has with the ones my Mom has. Never before have I compared the two. That's what I've been doing this week. Comparing and puzzling and wondering. Why so attracted and repelled by the same thing? Surely, BW is not exactly like my Mom. She is far more driven to succeed, to make a fabulous life, to be loyal to friends and family. My Mom has never been driven, is kind of lazy in fact, and loses track of friends pretty easily and doesn't seem to honor family much. But these "gaps" are very, very similar. Baby, baby, baby, I am reeling! Gotta get together with Bookworm and talk this over some more. More later!
Sorry there are no pictures. Blogger wasn't cooperating today.
3 comments:
How odd - Bookworm sometimes reminds me of my mom as well.
But only in the best possible ways.
Her lovely skin, her sense of style, the enjoyment she gets from good books and fantastic jewlelry, all those beautiful colors and fabrics she wears so well...
But when I decide to talk over things with Bookworm, I have to be prepared - because she tells me the truth - and that does not remind me of my mom at all.
bs
Your mother and I may share some or several character traits - but we are not genetically the same. She put all her eggs in a man's basket and I have never done so. I can't imagine doing so, at least financially speaking. But I do recognize your mother's gaps because I have my own....(well, and so does everybody else). Your gaps and Fossilguy's gaps are often similar. Your mother and I share a sort of more fanciful world...I certainly can see myself, perhaps at a younger age - but perhaps not (depends on the circumstance) running out onto a street and flagging down a car if I needed to. I would consider this to be an impulsive but perhaps necessary thing to do. Should someone slow down and stop for me, I would make a quick judgement on the level of the driver's "safety/sanity balance" and then go for it, if it seemed okay to me. I make snap decisions based on a progression of deductions. I don't know how your Mom's decision process/behavior patterns work - but I can understand something about them in a "feeling-intuitive" kind of way. So people can behave in similar ways, but the behavior may be connected to different types of processes and experiences. We can talk more about this, because it IS fascinating material.
I think my first reaction to your commment on the 4th was: Oh good grief! I've been irritated or concerned about the same behavior that BW could exhibit and that I've seen for myself over the years. How could I be so blind and so impatient with my own mother, I thought.
As you know very well, FG and I are very much responsible first children who value our "common sense" maybe more than we ought to and can't understand impulsive decisions very well. Tell me what gaps FG and I share. That would also be interesting to know. Of course, we probably don't see them as gaps....
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