Winter Blahs

Or Winter Blues. Or Winter Boos. Or even better, Winter Booze! Maybe that would help with this uncharacteristic Pacific Northwest Winter we are experiencing. I am so tired of the cold and the wet. Whether you subscribe to Global Warming or Climate Change or neither, anyone who lives around here will agree that this winter of 2007-08 has been colder and snowier and wetter than we are used to. I thank my lucky stars every time it snows, that I retired in the Fall and I don’t have to decide whether I am going to risk my limbs by driving to work in the stuff. At least there’s that.

I was in Wisconsin in December and in Rhode Island this month and I’m here to tell you, those who say a dry cold is better than a wet cold are absolutely right. Coming back here after being in bitter cold in Wisconsin and semi-cold in Rhode Island made my bones ache! There is nothing to compare with a cold, WET day. The damp crawls right up inside you and camps there. You can’t get warm no matter how many layers you put on.

This morning I woke up to snow falling again, on March 28 of all things! I know that Wisconsin and the entire Midwest, probably, has snow on the ground that won’t likely go away until the end of April, but that’s not supposed to happen here. We are supposed to have a nice regular 3-month season. Three months of Spring, three months of Fall and three months of Winter. I’m leaving out Summer because that’s a crap shoot. Sometimes it lasts for a couple of weeks, sometimes a couple of months. I could do with a nicer Summer, but having a short summer and a looonnnng winter is too much!

I look at the temperatures across the U.S. every day in the newspaper and long to be with my daughter in San Diego, where it is 67 today, or with my daughter in Norfolk where it is a balmy 75. What warm joy that would be! Even London weather, notorious for its gloominess, has been better than ours. Today it’s 55 degrees, 10 degrees warmer, at least, than in Kitsap County, and 18 degrees warmer than in my yard, where it has now risen to a chilly and WET 35 degrees.

Okay, I’m going to pray to Jeff and Andy and Steve, our main PNW TV weathermen, to bring us warmer temperatures. I am going to do a sun dance. I am going to put sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt on my snowman. I am going to build an altar to the sun and burn said snowman. I am going to promise to worship the sun exclusively if only, if only it will return. But first I’m going to go put on another layer, put some anti-fungal between my toes, take an allergy pill against the mold and mildew, replenish the Kleenex and crank up the teapot.